Table 4 End of life
Subtheme | Data |
|---|---|
Decision-making | “You’re taking somebody else’s life and making these decisions. So that’s the kind of suffering that I went through.” ~ Lois |
“I emphasize ‘her wishes’ because it’s very important for people that are dealing with parents to realize that if you’re dealing with Alzheimer’s or dementia you soon become the parent, you become the caregiver of these people, they are no longer your look-to person, they are the person who’s looking to you… If you prepare, the death and dying process is manageable, but if you’re not prepared then you run into other obstacles which I don’t know might not be the most fun.” ~ Laurie | |
Warning | “The nurse in charge, phoned and said, ‘I think the end is coming very close.’ She said, ‘her breathing is getting pretty shallow’ and this sort of thing, ‘you might want to come up.’ And I came up to stay with her.” ~ Charles |
[Mom] knew she was going to die… She even breathed really weird, for probably four or five days, like where she would, umm, breath really… She would hold her breath, how she would hold her breath for 20 seconds and then all of a sudden let out a heavy sigh, then hold it. So she did this for a long, long time. So we had lots of warning.” ~ Lenoa | |
Slipping and passing away | “Soon after his brother left he, it was almost as if he just kind of forgot how to swallow and he could chew and chew but he didn’t know what to do. And then he kind of stopped eating and he just kind of slipped away. He just disappeared on me.” ~ Lois |
“Then she finally took the last breath. But we just kept saying, ‘Mom, it’s ok, we won’t be sad, you’ll be happy you’re in heaven.’ We played ‘How great thou Art’ and she finally just relaxed and went to sleep. I felt peace…” ~ Lenoa | |
Best thing | “I was just with him. I dozed off and I woke up and he was just gone. And that was the best thing. I couldn’t wish him back, not to the way he was, you know.” ~ Lois |
“And, and so I thought well, you know, he wanted to die. When I got the call … we all went to the nursing home together. He was lying there peaceful and I said, ‘Hey, you did it. Good for you,’ you know, ‘Hey…you did it. Good for you.’ And, and so I couldn’t wish anything better for him than to die peaceful in his sleep.” ~ Alice | |
Meaning | “It was all I could do, so you know I felt… I was glad that I could do it. I mean, you know, that’s all you could do. You know when you think about your parents, how much they did for you over your lifetime, so I was very happy to do it.” ~ Claire |
“The gift of giving to him and caring is so mutual… So, you know, I just feel very blessed by it and happy that I had the time to do it and the health to do it and my family had the health and to do it and the wealth to do it.” ~ Tom |